What do I tell parents about Peer Mediation?
Here are some of the most common parent reactions to peer mediation, and some suggested responses.
1. How did my child get involved in a mediation?
Your child got involved because of a conflict with another student. The mediation was a way to resolve the conflict and reinforce good problem solving strategies. It was voluntary and, as everything, it was a supervised activity.
2. Why didn't a teacher just
solve the problem?
First, an adult was supervising the process at all times during the mediation. Now, why didn't the teacher solve the issue? Mediation is a way for your student to learn to resolve problems in a supported manner. It allows students to practice an important life skill. Additionally, as you may know, teachers cannot witness everything. Through mediation students learn more about each other, practice resolving conflicts together, and feel free to be open and honest throughout the process.
3. I don't want other people
involved in my child's problems!
You should know that mediation is strictly confidential. While your student, and the other student(s) involved can speak to parents, teachers, counselors and administrators, s/he can't speak with other students. In this way very few others know a peer mediation has taken place. The student mediators must keep confidentiality, so they aren't going to be speaking about the conflict, either. This way, fewer people know about the problem and the rumors don't start flying afterward.
4. Why wasn't I called beforehand?
(Note: in many cases a counselor or administrator may call the parents before mediation takes place.) Mediation is another form of problem solving. Since this problem did not require an administrator to take action, we did not inform you. You should consider this similar to a situation where I, the teacher, might resolve a classroom problem and call you after it has been resolved.
5. What is this mediation stuff
anyway?
Mediation is a formal way for students to resolve problems. It involves students trained as peer mediators helping to resolve conflicts between other students. The mediators are supervised by a counselor, and they help the students to reach a solution. The mediators help the parties to resolve the issue; they do not solve the issue for the parties.
6. I went to court ordered mediation.
Is this the same thing?
Court ordered mediation is based upon the same principles are peer mediation. There are significant differences, though. First, peer mediation is voluntary. Next, the parties create their own solution, it is not resolved by an outside party or judge. They are similar because both allow for an issue to be resolved without going before a formal authority and both save time by resolving smaller issues more quickly, leaving the big issues for the authorities.
7. I don't think kids can solve problems for other
kids.
First of all, the mediators don't solve problems, the students do. You might be surprised to learn that students who have gone through the mediation process actually like it better because issues do get resolved. Students report that they feel like the core issues get resolved, not just the latest dispute. They also feel that they are respected in the peer mediation process because everyone is treated fairly and everything is kept private. Also, an adult always monitors a peer mediation. Finally, you should be aware that certain issues such as abuse, threats and drugs are seen as serious issues and cannot be kept confidential. In these cases we agree with you, a student isn't able to solve the problem.
For more information try these web
resources.
Aaron Sterling has helped develop peer
mediation and conflict resolution programs in California and Virginia.
He currently teaches elementary students in northern Virginia.
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